In the Orson Welles movie Mr. Arkadin, there’s a scene in which a crooked flea circus trainer poses a question. To paraphrase, "Do you know why cops aren’t smarter? Because they don’t have to be." The message is clear: most criminals are idiots.

Porn flicks are sort of like those cops. Porn flicks aren’t any better because they don’t have to be. The message is clear here, too: most porn consumers are idiots.

Maybe that’s a little strong, but it’s in the ballpark. Most porn movies looks like they happened by mistake. Someone left a camera running and some boring people had dull sex around the lens. How else to you explain all those creepy store-bought breasts and the inanity of sex scenes that constantly follow the same she-blows-him-he-eats-her-fucks-her-and-blows-on-her-cheeks ritual? The first time you see that, it’s a taboo-breaking moment. The fiftieth time, it’s as thrilling as watching spoons dry in the sink.

But not all porn is made by the same bored directors and actors, and it’s not all being created for the same frat boy/guilty husband market. In some porn, guys are out of the equation completely. Take a look at two porn shorts from Sir Video (www.sirvideo.com), Hard Love and How to Fuck in High Heels (both on the same tape). These are lesbian porn flicks and not the faux girl-girl stuff you see from mainstream porn producers, full of the usual gang of bored and slightly uncomfortable performers. Produced, directed by and starring Shar Rednour and Jackie Strano Hard, this is actual lesbian porn made by lesbians for other lesbians.

Hard Love is the first scenario on the tape and is an unusual scene for a porn vid, that of the Angry Fuck. Two women who have recently broken up meet and can’t quite resist tearing one off, and tear they do. The sex is intense, physical and emotionally teasing as Jackie taunts her ex while fucking her with her candy apple red strap-on. Part psychodrama and part hard fuck fantasy, Hard Love is the opposite of most porn in that the performers are so obviously engaged in the moment.

If you guessed that How to Fuck in High Heels has a different tone, you were right. Starring Shar Rednour and based on her performance piece of the same name, it’s a bright and smutty fantasy come to life. Ms. Rednour guides you through a faux educational film, while fucking and dominating a bevy of glamorous girls.

While Hard Love is character-based and dark, How to Fuck in High Heels is the kind of sex fantasy where you get to have exactly the sex party you want: a well-dressed, well-catered and well-lit bacchanal. The colors are bright and the movement quick, almost MTV-like. Imagine what a Richard Kern photo would look like come to life. Of course, a Kern photo wouldn’t have Renour’s filthy mind and mouth taunting her lovers as they suck he toes and submit to her cock.

What truly sets both of these films apart from the mass of porn currently on the market is that it’s obvious everyone on camera really wants to be there. Self-help-types are always talking about "living in the moment." These performers are living and fucking in the moment. There’s not a shot that feels forced or there for the audience–no superfluous "money shot." These two flicks are wall-to-wall money shots, girl-style.

Shar and Jackie were also behind volume two of the even-boys-like-to-take-it-in-the-ass series, Bend Over Boyfriend. As ambitious as they are perverse, the couple have plans for plenty more porn in the future. Not only are they going to continue to make videos, but in late spring they will launch www.realdykes.com. Too bad Sigmund Freud isn’t aren’t around now. If anyone has the answer to his famous, "What do women want?," I suspect it’s Jackie and Shar.

Richard Kadrey has written criticism on more porn than you’ve ever even seen. So sez the Editrix.

Illustration by Indina Beuche and Blaze
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