My buzz has magically transformed into a headache the size of a wainscotting. This requires an emergency sing-along lest sorrow also settle in. I return to the well-worn grooves of a sing-along classic: The Smiths "The Queen Is Dead" and listen to the title track four times in a row, which is the correct way of listening to this album. Rather than actually then blaze through the rest of this essential masterpiece, I snigger myself to sleep via Robyn Hitchcock's "Element Of Light," a clever piece of ’80s arcana that helps a girl to regain her wits. Poor Robyn is too often branded as Syd Barrett the sequel, which he is, but his lyrics are always sublimely twisted and funny (funny smart as opposed to funny goofy). His guitar arrangements are simple but filled with an infectious pop sparkle. This particular album probably has more touching elements than most of the rest of his oeuvre, including the wonderful "Ted, Woody And Junior," being a fantastically crafted paean to childhood and brotherhood. Besides all this, Robyn happens to be a really pretty to look at and does a sleepy lady's heart right.

I awaken, alone and despondent, realising that my mission to attempt some listens to new music has failed completely. I am, however, strangely satisfied embracing the conditions of my DJdom, for I truly am what I play. There is a retrovirus that infects my soul and consistenly forces my mind back upon itself, and I am happy to know that I could waste a whole 'nother day drinkin' to the oldies while sitting on a heaping stack of unheard discs. Maybe it's that so much of modern music is just a retelling of musical concepts gone past, and why trade down from a good thing? Of course, current generations need cues from their own time on which to draw inspiration and yes, I will eventually get around to listening to the new stuff, and I will have little love affairs with some of it. For now, however, this hot little dinosaur will hum whatever sneaks into her head and wear a little toothy smile because she can freely admit that life is just too damn short not to live in the past!

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Else Teischer has been spotted at Blackbird on Monday nights in Portland, swaying to the retro-80s sounds of Romulus and Remus.