We have long awaited the moment to release our manifesto, so that we would not appear guilty of the sin of vanguardism. Since Bart Nagel has noted that book publishers consider books bearing the suffix "cyber" in the title passé, we realize that it is time to strike while the iron is cool.

The Cyberpassé movement began on October 8, 1966 when the BBC aired "The Tenth Planet" – part of their popular Dr. Who series. The Cybermen have replaced their natural bodies with plastic and thus have become disease free and nearly immortal. They represent the ideal of the Cyberpassé movement. Cyberpassé will overtake cyberpunk, because we created it as a front. The movement has great wealth and power, and is an open conspiracy. Any number may play, provided that they obey the Cyberlaws. We are the rulers of the world, the makers of the zeitgeist, and the oatmeal of reality.

These are the Cyberlaws, the key to Cyberpassé:

1. You must own a computer. It must be a boring computer with lots of capacity for upward and downward networking. Your favorite phrase is "The computer is a tool." You must pretend incompetence with your computer, so that people explain things for you, and do things for you. Thus you learn to tap the skills of lots of experts.

2. You must belong to a frequent flyer plan. You'll travel a lot to see other Cybermen. You must own a futon to put up traveling Cybermen. You must make your visitors look as boring as possible, so as not to tip off your neighbors that you are a planetary ruler.

3. You must appear dull. This is essential. Everyone must view you as a harmless amateur. You must practice perfect manners, so you don't get thrown out of places for being too dull.

4. You must foster a myth of a long-term illness. Thusly you can call in sick for work, whenever a learning opportunity presents itself. Knowledge is power.

5. You must place yourself in the middle of various webs of information. Always share information, but always filter to extend the Cybervalues of logic, and of slow and steady change. You must deny that you are trying to improve the world, as always appear to be a shambling, slow-witted machine that just happens to pass along the correct information at one time. Remember humans are hostile to change agents.

6. You must make sure that they're a lot of cutting edge movements around to draw fire. As a long-term way to secure this, strongly support civil liberties issues.

7. You must always deny the importance of new information technologies. This is not to stifle, but to make people think they are harmless. Always argue that there is nothing new going on. This will make people less likely to fear/resist certain changes.

8. You must act every day to bring about the change into a cybersociety. Each act must may be downplayed, but it must be constant and quiet. Accumulate power to make your actions a little stronger. After all, the boss can OK the T1 lines for the business, and she can allow personal email accounts. Always have a boring explanation: economy, efficiency, whatever. But be sure you never allow a step backward.

9. You must deny there is an organized Cyberpassé movement. Even to your self.

10. You must seek allies in all areas of society.

11. You must never act in anger, but only with logic and harmonious feelings. Our battles are not the day to day battles of the news. Our battle is that of the vegetable empire vast and slow.

Illustration by Todd Grimson.

Text has no Copyright, and may be reposted at will.